Funnies

[crispy]

The South - You Gotta Love It



Alabama

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos
for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering
under the weight of an eight-point buck."Where's Henry?" the others
asked.
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the
trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they
inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to
steal Henry!"


Georgia


The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an
invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the
University of Georgia and I need some help. If I were t
o give you
$20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my
earrings."


Louisiana


A senior at Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the
world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ." When asked why, he replied,
"He'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in
Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world."


Mississippi

The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said
to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the
parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license
number."


North Carolina


A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of
the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car
and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby
studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around
and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
The
passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in
the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."


Tennessee


A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The
trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?"


Texas

The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his
pick-up into the ditch.



The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't
you see that sign right over your head."


"Yep", he replied. "That's why I dumpin it here, cause it says: 'Fine
For Dumping Garbage'."


You can say what you want about the South,
But you never hear of anyone retiring and moving North.

[crispy]

Two Newfies were working for the Toronto City Works Department.
One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the
hole in.
They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on
to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one guy
digging a hole, the other guy filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what
they were doing so he asked the hole digger, 'I'm impressed by the effort
you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a
hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again'?
The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably
looks odd because we're normally a three-man team. But today the guy who
plants the trees called in sick'.

[JanKing]

LMAO...THOSE ARE GOOD ONES CHRIS!!!!

[CatzEyez]

Some real funny stuff here everyone...LMAO